Transcript
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Hello and welcome to another episode of the Bearded Mystic podcast, and I'm your host, rahul N Singh.
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Thank you for taking out the time today to either watch or listen to this podcast episode.
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So today I wanted to discuss because it's kind of elaborating from yesterday's discussion about why it's important for children to have a strong spiritual education.
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Now, specifically I'm talking about those kids that are brought up in Hindu households or with Indian spirituality, but I obviously will be focusing more on Advaita Vedanta.
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Now I'm going to go through six reasons why it's important for children to have this spiritual education and the issues we face in the West.
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You know we want our children to be spiritual, we want them to be well behaved, we want them to have good morals, and yet there's very little done when I ask parents of different faiths about how they can keep children kind of grounded in good ethics and good morals.
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Without this good ethics and good morals, there will never be a true inquiry into what they really are, and so the education of that only occurs when we at least open ourselves up to understanding spiritual ideals.
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Now this also means that parents need to you kind of wake up and also do more, because I don't think it's entirely the children's fault, because parents, you know, they focus on education far too much, taking kids to these clubs that center around kind of their education, and that's all good.
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But in the end, what are you doing for them in terms of how to deal with life, how to deal with the issues in life, what, what?
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What are you doing for them in terms of how to deal with life, how to deal with the issues in life?
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What are you setting them up with?
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When it comes to failure, will they know how to respond?
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Or when they have to deal with racism in the workplace, have you kind of helped them with that?
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Or sexism or anything like that?
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Have you helped them to understand what to do?
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So that's been one of my main concerns I'm going to talk about today in terms of you know, what can we do to make sure that children get a good spiritual education, as well as education that the state or government provides that we all know about.
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The other thing is that this is personal to me because obviously I have a, you know, a one and a half year old, and this matters to me because how my child well, first of my child is going to look at me and his parents and he's going to see how we react, how we respond to life, how we are.
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Are we truly practitioners or are we just going there as a ritual?
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Little things like that.
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And we think our children don't know anything.
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They know far too much.
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They know far more than we anticipate, and it's best to kind of over estimate than underestimate, because in the end it could shape their life.
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And what I find more and more common in as South Asian households is that they do not know what to do with their kids in terms of giving them a spiritual education.
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They want their kids to be well-rounded.
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You know good characters, good personalities, but how are you going to make that happen when you don't give them the kind of tools to move forward?
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So let's go into, um, the first thing now, why children need spiritual education in Advaita Vedanta.
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So this is this is a specific one that I'm looking at.
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So, um, if you follow a different religion, I think this is more or less universal that you could follow and, most of all, it's just about giving them a spiritual education.
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So, first of all, is the identity beyond the ego, and this is really important because, as children grow up, we are literally just hounding them with the ego, like you know, this is your name, which is not wrong.
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They need to identify themselves.
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That's good, this is your gender, this is this, this is that, and we kind of we force them to kind of identify with the body.
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So you know, from a young age we're told, you know this is what your grade is when you go to school.
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You know you are, you know if you're going to school, then whatever your kind of successes are, that defines you.
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This is your name, this is your gender and you know it.
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Just you know.
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They get told what they are, they get told you know what this body is, but they rarely are told who are you actually?
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You know, and the thing is, children have this beautiful sense of wonder, so it's not actually hard for them to grasp that they are the witness consciousness.
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One thing I do with my 18 month year old is we take some time to just do breathing.
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You know, it's not even that complicated, just breathing and uh and it, and it's one way where we connect and that's all you need is connection.
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So you know, but in the end, when he starts to understand and when he starts with me, obviously give him those identifications about his name, his age and all this stuff.
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We also tell him about what he really is, that, okay, you know you are the body, you are the mind.
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That's fine, that's what, that's what you have.
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But you know who are you really and that education is important from the get-go.
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So Advaita grounds them in Advgo.
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So Advaita grounds them in Advaita.
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So Advaita grounds them in the idea that they're not their role.
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So you know, for example, if they're a son or a daughter or a brother or a sister or a grandson or granddaughter, whatever the roles may be, we tell them that that is not what their identity is.
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They're given a role and you know it's important for them to fulfill the responsibilities of that role.
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But you know that's not their, that's not who they are, and we have to be clear on that, you know.
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And that means that even as parents, we need to disidentify ourselves, because when we get into well, I'm the father, that's my son, that's my daughter they would do what I say.
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That's coming from ego, not coming from awareness, that's not coming from a spiritual place of presence.
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And this is important because if you want a healthy relationship, we need to be able to do that, where we disidentify from the role and actually just speak to them one-on-one, knowing that they are the same as us.
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You see, when we come from that angle, things are different.
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It's a different playing field, uh, and you know one other thing is that they're not their thoughts.
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You know it's very easy today for, uh, and thankfully, you know, there's more discussion on mental health, so we can tell them that you're not your thoughts, you're not your emotions.
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They are things that you have, but they're not who you are.
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And it's really important that we guide them to be more mindful of that limitless awareness and that they are the Atma, that they are Brahman.
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They may not be able to.
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You don't have to say you're God to them, that would be wild.
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But you can tell them that you know you are awareness, and you don't have to mention God, don't need to bring God into the picture yet.
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Just make sure they understand that they are the awareness of their thoughts and their emotions.
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When they express to you, when they express the ideas that you know that the mind is taking in too much or they feel upset, you know.
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It's that time when you can just be present with them and instead of condemning them for being upset or saying you know, why are you upset?
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There's no need for you to be upset.
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It's much better for us to just say you know what?
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Let me just be aware with you.
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Let's go into awareness right now, and this can just help us be more conscious as parents and conscious of what we want from them and, trust me, this will prevent identity crisis that will happen much later on.
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Things that we can avoid will happen much later on.
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Things that we can avoid, and it is.
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It's really important that we tell them how to deal with their emotions.
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So, if they're feeling that they are sad, that we are with them in their sadness, that we don't say you know what?
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You shouldn't be sad.
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You've got it so easy in your life.
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Do you think that's the right response to give to a kid?
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I don't think so.
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Just empathize with them.
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If we want them to empathize with others, we have to learn empathy ourselves, and that's why it's really important that children are what you truly are.
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If your children are showing a lack of empathy, that says a lot about you.
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Where they learn, that is from their role models, and that's why it's important that they learn from their role models, and that may not be necessarily their parents.
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I'm sure my son will learn a lot from his grandma, from his grandparents in general, from his aunts and uncles.
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I expect that, but at the same time, that doesn't mean that if he's going to learn from them, I can just step back and just be a prat or be an idiot.
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No, I need to be that representative of the so-called spirituality that I follow.
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So you know, imagine he comes across my podcast and he's like you know, papa, you're so great on your podcast, you say so many great things, but at home you're like this.
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Imagine when he's 15, 20 years old and he's like but you're like this with me.
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Imagine how that would make me feel and how that would make him feel that his dad is one thing on camera and one thing behind the camera, and that's why Advaita Vedanta says you're one.
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So you know, the whole thing about being one thing, like pretending to be spiritual at the temple and then being an absolute fool at home is opening the door to schizophrenia and there's no need to have this dual personality.
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Then the other thing is and this is an important one, especially in the Indian community, in my opinion, the South Asian community.
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Here there's immunity to comparison and pressure and, trust me, this is a big one.
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And you know, yes, this world is really competitive, it's hyper competitive.
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It's all about about, you know, who can be number one, and unfortunately, the education system kind of houses that view as well.
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Like you're measured by your grades, you're also measured by your looks, by what your hobbies are, by what you like to do, and people judge you on that.
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You know, I remember that, and this is I'm expressing something that I wish I never listened to.
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But, like, I remember I wanted to be a teacher when I was younger and now I wish I was a teacher.
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Yeah, so, but I was told that you know, being a teacher does not make enough money.
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Just imagine, you know, we're telling someone and now I think I would never do that to my kid, because if he says he wants to be a teacher, a doctor, an engineer, whatever, he wants to be A businessman.
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A businessman, maybe he wants to explore the world for a bit.
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I've got to be there to support that and let him charter his life and that's important.
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And therefore that doesn't mean that you have to measure your kid by their grades or their GPA or anything like that.
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That shouldn't define your love for your kid or the attention you give your kid.
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You know if your kid wants to improve, they will improve.
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If your kid doesn't want to improve, you need to see why they don't want to improve instead of condemning them for not improving and things like that.
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So Advaita, you know it, offers us that insight that you know their, their worth is innate, it's within them and it's unchanging.
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The value you have of them will never change, regardless of their grades, regardless of what they look like, regardless of their likes and dislikes.
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You will be there for them.
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If tomorrow, even this, if my child says he has no interest in spirituality, I have to support that and you know what.
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That may be the most difficult thing in my life to do, but you know what I have to because, at the end of the day, if I'm going to teach him that it doesn't, you're beyond what you like and dislike.
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I have to practice that too.
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So, um, so, most importantly, you know the other thing that this will do is that it's not going to tie the kid to any outer success or outer validation.
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It doesn't need that external validation or that external success, the inner success of just being calm, being collected, facing the trials and tribulations of life with strength and courage and without fear.
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That's more important.
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And they don't need validation from the world, they don't need validation from their parents.
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They are complete in themselves and that's what we have to keep guiding them towards and and helping them understand this that they are that awareness that will not break, that will always remain with them.
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And then there's the third one, which is emotional resilience through disidentification.
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This sounds rather weird, but, trust me, instead of telling them to suppress their emotions or telling them not to feel this or to feel that, or, you know, if they end up being consumed by their emotions like, we have to guide them to not get consumed by them too.
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We can guide them to witness their thoughts, witness their feelings as passing waves, or, and they don't have to cling to them.
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I often give the example that and I practice this too when things overwhelm me, then, you know, I just look at the mind and I look at the screen of awareness and I look at the mind, which is clouds of emotions and feelings and thoughts, and I just watch them pass by.
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You know, just like you know, the sky doesn't get affected by the clouds as they pass by.
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And these thoughts, these emotions, these feelings are all clouds that pass by and I don't have to give them attention, I can just let them be, let them flow.
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And you know I can just let them be, let them flow, and you know what I can remain as that awareness that's there, that's always present, that's always here.
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And you know, and I don't have to cling to those clouds, I don't have to cling to those waves of emotion or feelings or thoughts, and this will build inner strength.
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We feel it in ourselves.
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I feel it in myself that I am more resilient, as now I don't think I get affected as much by things as I used to.
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I've seen my growth, but at the same time I have to understand that everyone has to grow.
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So my child is going to go through those turbulent times.
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Everyone has to grow.
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So my child is going to go through those turbulent times and I have to be there with them to be present and guide them to be into awareness.
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And it's all about guiding them.
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The right way and that's one way is not telling them.
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See, we're not saying to them that their emotions are wrong.
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We're saying just witness them.
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We're not telling them their emotions are right, we're saying just witness them.
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We're not telling them their emotions are right, we're just saying witness them.
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And this can be incredibly helpful.
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Now, an important part of Advaita Vedanta and this fourth point is really important there's moral grounding, but without any fear-based religion, and you know, religion has always been about fear.
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You know there's a God.
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You need to fear this God.
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Or there's the Guru.
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You need to fear the Guru or you need to.
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You better fear because you could go.
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If you want to go to heaven, you better be good, otherwise you're going to go to hell and that's going to be for eternity and you're going to be, you know, burnt and all this kind of, you know, crooked thinking.
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And you know dharma doesn't allow this to happen.
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Dharma will say you know there's no fear of punishment here.
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You're not going to get punished and you know everything that happens.
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You have to understand that everyone is one with you.
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So your morality, your ethics is based on oneness.
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You see everyone as the same.
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They are one and the same with you.
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They're not separate to you and it's really important for us to understand that.
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So when we operate ourselves from oneness, our children will also operate from oneness, and that's really important, that's a solid thing to do.
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If we don't do this, then you know we have to kind of understand that when we operate from oneness, then that also means our voting record.
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I mentioned this before.
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What you vote for is for what you represent, and you know, frankly, if we vote for or we vote for people that hate others without any reason why, that means that we're okay with hating others, that we're okay with harming others.
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So harming another is harming oneself.
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And when we have that empathy that I want to do good for others because that's doing good to me, not because I'm going to benefit personally from it, no, because they are me, the other is me, it's all one, it's non-dual.
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And when we operate from that oneness, there's only love, compassion and space for others, and this is important.
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And if we are divided people, we vote for things that are going to divide others, and we see this today.
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We believe in this individualistic, divisive rhetoric, whilst those that believe in unity, in love, compassion, cannot vote for these type of things, cannot even.
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Uh, you know the things that people call woke these days, but being woke actually is not a bad thing, you know, I think we fail to understand that woke is seeing everyone as the same as you.
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And you know, if you're not comfortable with who you are, you're not going to be comfortable with others and their diversity, but if you're comfortable with yourself, you're comfortable with other people too.
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So whatever you view the world is more or less how you view yourself.
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Uh, so, and that means your worldview.
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Now that, let's be honest, I may not like the current president at all, but I recognize that there is oneness.
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I cannot deny that fact, and you know I have huge compassion for him because imagine living a life that he's living I.
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You know, I feel bad for him that he lives in that way.
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So I have empathy.
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Okay, that's his mindset, that's the way he's living his life.
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Imagine, I don't know how to.
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You know, when I grew up, my role model, my hero, was my guru, who only taught love, unconditional love.
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So I didn't know anything else.
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I cannot know anything else, because that's what my hero is.
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So we have we understand that harming another is harming ourselves.
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This will lead to natural compassion and natural integrity.
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It's not something you have to like, forcefully build upon yourself like you don't have to be told do not kill anyone, because you know that harming another person is harming myself.
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Therefore, the idea of killing someone doesn't even have to be mentioned, it doesn't have to be said, you know so.
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So this is important to understand.
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Then the fifth one, which is connection to culture and sanatan wisdom.
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So you know, vedanta is pretty good when it comes to connecting to our, you know, kind of ancestral roots and our Vedic roots.
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It's really important for us to know this.
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And you know it's not a blind tradition.
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It's not about, you know, you just go to the mandir and you just beg God and come back.
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That is not what dharma is about.
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That's not what Vedanta is.
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Vedanta is about knowing who you are, knowing your true nature.
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It's about logically understanding what you are.
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It's not about believing in something.
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It's not about having faith in something either.
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Once you know something for fact, you don't need faith in it.
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That faith then is natural.
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You don't have to build a faith and you do not have to think that your faith is weak.
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You do not have to beg God to make things better for you.
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You know, because you are that God itself.
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You are that awareness itself.
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You are brahman itself.
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You are ishwara itself.
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You're not, they are not separate to you.
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All the powers of this universe is within you and at the same time, you are that awareness which has unconditional power, unconditional strength, unconditional love, unconditional compassion.
00:23:03.056 --> 00:23:11.009
So Vedanta is purely rational, it's experiential.
00:23:11.009 --> 00:23:15.048
You can experience it, you can taste being awareness yourself.
00:23:15.048 --> 00:23:17.027
You don't have to believe in this.
00:23:17.760 --> 00:23:25.510
And it's really important to be rational and this helps us when we look at things from a rational perspective.
00:23:25.510 --> 00:23:31.333
When there's festivals like Diwali or Holi, we, you know it gives a proper meaning to it.
00:23:31.333 --> 00:23:49.550
Or if we do rituals at home, the rational mind will be able to see the logic behind them, them, and even with the stories, we know that there's, you know, not every story is going to be, you know, kind of true, but they like the puranas, the stories from the puranas.
00:23:49.550 --> 00:23:54.906
They're not true, they are, um, they obviously are made up.
00:23:54.906 --> 00:24:01.261
But we can get rational lessons from those stories, we can get the morals from those stories.
00:24:01.261 --> 00:24:14.287
But we don't have to be like, oh yeah, hanumanji actually ate the sun, like we don't have to be silly to you know, to kind of reduce our logic and rationality.
00:24:14.287 --> 00:24:26.932
No, you know we, what we're trying to present here when we represent that hanumanji tried to eat the sun was to show how powerful he was, that he could take in the energy of the sun.
00:24:26.932 --> 00:24:43.733
We can say things like that, and that's us too, that the energy that's in the sun is also within us, because we're made up of the same universe, the same elements of the universe, that's all, and it can be based in rational and logical thought.
00:24:43.733 --> 00:24:46.021
So that's really important.
00:24:46.021 --> 00:24:58.228
So connecting with their culture is very, very important, and then there's obviously clarity amongst amidst spiritual confusion, and this can happen.
00:24:58.228 --> 00:25:11.540
You know we, you know we've been discussing the law of attraction and we're going to do a deep dive tomorrow into um that and go a bit deeper into the law of attraction and advaita vidanta.
00:25:12.201 --> 00:25:26.497
But, yes, these half-baked spiritual ideals that, uh, and ideas and concepts that we're told, you know that's flooded the social media YouTube, tiktok, instagram.
00:25:26.497 --> 00:25:39.631
So many people are now scared of the evil eye, and they're scared of they're so superstitious they follow everything of the eclipse, just in case something bad may happen.
00:25:39.631 --> 00:25:47.184
All this superstitious thinking, the eclipse, just in case something bad may happen, all this superstitious thinking.
00:25:47.184 --> 00:25:49.530
Advaita provides a clear, time-tested map to the ultimate truth.
00:25:49.530 --> 00:25:52.839
It just says you know what, this is your true nature.
00:25:52.839 --> 00:25:54.705
This is the ultimate truth.
00:25:54.705 --> 00:25:58.057
This is backed by logic, scripture and deep inquiry.
00:25:58.057 --> 00:26:01.626
We've, it's been tested for many years, for millennia.
00:26:01.626 --> 00:26:02.871
People have gone through this.
00:26:02.871 --> 00:26:08.692
They've achieved it even today, and this can be experienced, you can go through this.
00:26:08.692 --> 00:26:20.268
So Advaita is not, uh, you know, half-baked spiritual ideals or ideas or concepts, so this is important to know as well.
00:26:20.307 --> 00:26:31.367
So, um it, where it's easy to go down the path of spiritual confusion, advaita Vedanta is the antidote to that, in my opinion.
00:26:31.367 --> 00:26:34.633
So what would it look like?
00:26:34.633 --> 00:26:45.982
Uh, you know, for parents, if you have a kid right now, what can you do with your kid to kind of give them a solid spiritual education?
00:26:45.982 --> 00:27:07.103
And this does mean, you know, you do have to spend time with them if you, if they spend, say, you know, six, seven, eight hours of the day, ten hours a day, in, um, in kind of worldly education, make sure one or two hours in the day is spent in spiritual education.
00:27:07.103 --> 00:27:09.709
It's really important to do that as well.
00:27:09.709 --> 00:27:19.509
So, or, you know, you look at saturday being that type of day where you go through the spiritual education, something like that.
00:27:19.509 --> 00:27:21.993
So what does that look like?
00:27:21.993 --> 00:27:25.441
So, if you know, from the ages of five to ten.
00:27:25.500 --> 00:27:30.068
It's okay for us to give stories with Vedantic values.
00:27:30.068 --> 00:27:48.749
There are books like the Vedas for children, upanishads for children, the Bhagavad Gita for children, and they have tales of you know Nachiketa and Prahlad and you know simplified portions of the Upanishads and they're told with visuals and metaphors.
00:27:48.749 --> 00:27:57.650
Get those for your kids, go through them, read them and, you know, just be with them and enjoy those stories.
00:27:57.650 --> 00:28:09.366
And you know, whenever they are going through any tough situation at school, maybe they're getting bullied, maybe they're getting, maybe they're bullying other kids.
00:28:09.366 --> 00:28:16.854
So make sure you tell them that you know this is not what you are.
00:28:16.854 --> 00:28:19.219
You're not this body, you're not this mind.
00:28:19.219 --> 00:28:20.342
You know, guide them.
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I'm not my thoughts, I am this light of awareness, I am peace, I am this presence and that's all.
00:28:33.250 --> 00:28:42.557
And it's very important to do some guided meditation with the kids too, some guided mindfulness, mindful remembrance.
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You know things like you know, watch your breath.