Episode 4: Direct and Unfiltered with The Bearded Mystic

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Hello and welcome to Direct and Unfiltered with the Bearded Mystic and I'm your host, Rahul N. Singh. Thank you for taking out the time today to either watch or listen to this podcast episode. If you would like to submit a question for direct and unfiltered with the Bearded Mystic. There is a survey that you can complete, which is in the video description and show notes below, or you can send an email to beardedmysticpodcast@gmail.com, Some announcements before we begin with the question that we have today. If you like to give your support to the Bearded Mystic Podcast, you can do so by signing up to the podcast Patreon page for ad free and bonus episodes and other benefits depending on the tier that you select details are in the show notes and video description.

Every Saturday at 11: 0:50

00 AM Eastern Standard time. There is a free virtual meditation session along with discussion in Q and A. Please find the details in the show notes and video description below. Please like, comment, and subscribe if you're watching this on YouTube. If you are listening to this on your favorite podcast streaming app, please give this podcast a five star rating and review the podcast and do follow or subscribe to get future episodes. We have a question from Dillon ji and the question is, how should one stand up for oneself? You said that you should never allow yourself to be spoken to in a lesser manner and to empower yourself. How do we go about doing this? I can always find more issues and room for improvement than qualities to be happy with, and when I do, I feel as though my ego is taking over. So how can one empower oneself without allowing the ego to grow? A very good question, Dillon Ji, and one that is not so easy to answer in my opinion, because it's really walking on a very thin line. So first of all, how can one stand up for oneself? First of all, know your value. Know who you are. Discover who you are, and also analyze that person in front of you. The person in front of you, are they true to themselves? Maybe they have a problem that they are facing. Maybe it's about taking them away from the group because mostly people do things to others to look good in front of other people. So sometimes you may have to go back and just ask that person, you know, is everything okay? Is there anything wrong? Is life going fine for you? Do I need to help you in any way? Can I help you in any way? Now, some people may say that's unrealistic, but unless you tried, it's always going to be unrealistic. So first of all, try that. The other one is be silent. Sometimes we just need to let go of the mind chatter. Sometimes the mind makes it more worse than it actually is. Sometimes we think in such a way where we are like, oh, that person spoke to me this way, so therefore I'm gonna show him who I am. I'm gonna show him what I'm made of. Yeah, but you can do that with silence. You can do that with love and compassion. Now, say you are in that moment where you've been spoken to and there's a group around you, and you now have to respond. You may ignore it once. You can ignore it twice, but the third time, yes, you do have to stand up for yourself and you have to say, I don't want this to continue. What is your problem? When is this going to stop? Now you can follow the due diligence process if you're at school or, or at work. You know, there's processes in place, there's procedures in place where you can sort out the bullying and actually put in the request to have this investigated. But a lot of people are uncomfortable with that, but you can always do it without kind of bringing up conflict, and sometimes also the other person can be a good mirror to highlight where you may be producing the same type of behaviors. Sometimes we think, oh, other people are behaving in such a way. Actually, you could take a look within and see, am I acting in the same way to anyone else? Am I being harmful to someone else? Somewhere if you are putting someone down, you will find that you have been put down by somebody. Now, that could be your parents, that could be your school friends, that could be your work colleagues, your boss. It could be from anywhere, but you'll find that it's happening from some place. Hence, you have that. So whenever someone's bullying you or whenever someone's putting you down somewhere, they are being put down themselves. Somewhere there is something that's not right. And that's why being compassionate towards them is so important because they're seeking out that compassion. But their only way of releasing what conflict they have is by producing more conflict. And what they don't understand is, is that they're putting, putting themselves in this endless cycle that will never be resolved. So you can actually put a break to that Dillon ji by actually pausing and asking the person what's wrong? You can take the person to the side eventually. Find an opportunity maybe later on to say what's wrong? Let's, let's talk this out. Now sometimes, I know this may not be possible, I understand some things can be very childish, but when we are adults, it's expected that we can do that and I have found in my own life that when I have not retaliated or when I have followed the procedures, things have been dealt with. For example, I remember being bullied when I was at school, and this was because, uh, the color of my skin, and it was during, it was just after 9/11 and despite not being Muslim, I was called a Taliban and I followed the process. I went to, actually, I went to a different deputy head because I found one of the deputy head teachers to be racist because of some comments that were made in a history class when we were talking about colonialism of all things. And I went to the head teacher, deputy headteacher and he got it sorted. That person, all I was told was that person will never say a single word to me. Now, that person who bullied me never said a single word to me, never did, never bothered, and we never cross paths again. I dunno where he is right now. I don't care where he is right now. But all I can say is right now, I just feel like that was my way of standing up to them. Even when it's come to in the workplace, when I have found that people have been treating me unfairly, I've either ended up resigning from that job because I felt that this is gonna go nowhere or I filed a complaint and things have been dealt with. Yes, you will hear of cases where things where there is retaliation. And I'm not gonna say that does not happen. I've seen it happen, but I've not experienced that myself. I've found that the process does work. The other part of it is just being silent when you show that it's not affecting you, that that them sends a big message because they will push you to respond, to react, but if you end up not giving that, they'll end up questioning, what are you made of? That you are not retaliating, that you are not res reacting to me, that you are not trying to match up that energy, because remember, you know, a lot of people utilize the Mahabharata as a way to say that we should fight, well do they ignore the whole aspect of the Mahabharata was about avoiding conflict and actually avoiding fighting. There's a whole monologue about the importance of nonviolence. And when I say nonviolence, I even mean non-reaction. So even with your words, you do not say anything. So the way to empower yourself, first of all, is know who you are. Now, Dillon Ji, you are this Formless Awareness. Therefore, if someone says anything to you, it's to the name and form. It's to prakriti. What a fool is that person because they think that's you. First of all, you know who you are. Whenever somebody says something to you, automatically it should go to Formless Awareness and it dissolves away. So you will automatically be unaffected. That's what detachment is. That's vairagya when no matter what someone says to you, good or bad does not affect you. There's another part to your answer and I know it's based from a meditation session we had. You said that you always find more issues and room for improvement than qualities to be happy with when you are analyzing yourself. Now, don't be too harsh on yourself also. Be honest. That's all. If you're being honest and you find more issues and room for improvement, that's good. But also recognize the qualities that you're happy with and look to strengthen them or look to find other qualities that you can use to be happy about. Now. That's the room for improvement. Be happy about it. Be happy that you even recognize this. How many people go through life without knowing they need to improve or by thinking they have improved, but done nothing. . At least be happy about that. Main thing is be happy, be honest. And that's, and that's all. Now the unfortunate thing is that people equate, and this is why you say, how can one empower oneself without allowing the ego to grow, is because there is this notion that people have made up that if you know what you're good at, that somehow that brings ego. No. You know your value, you know what you're bringing to the table. And you should damn well be proud. Why shouldn't you be? You've worked on those attributes. Some of them may be natural to you, but you've cultivated them. So be proud. And the way to avoid getting egoic, and this is important to recognize, is remember that your Formless Awareness and that these qualities belong to this body and mind. So if this body and mind changes, those qualities could change. Therefore, go back to Formless Awareness. That's how you allow the ego not to grow. You stop the ego from growing and you stop the ego from identifying with the mind and body. You tell the ego you are Formless Awareness, that's what you are. And by default, the ego dissolves all sorts of power and rests in Formless Awareness. So therefore, the real power that you have is Formless Awareness, and that's ultimately what we all are looking for. So, Dillon Ji, all I've got to say is you may find more issues with yourself. You may find that there's more room for improvement. That's good. That's being humble, that's being honest. But remember side by side, look at the good qualities and be happy about them. Be proud of them, and look to strengthen them. That's all. And remember that these qualities that you have just belong to the body and mind, not to the Atman, not to your True Self. So I hope I've answered your question. Thank you very much for asking this. If you like this episode and feel someone needs to listen to this, do share this podcast with your friends and family who may enjoy this content or share this YouTube video. If you would like to support the podcast because you've been happy with what you've been listening to and you feel like you want to support this channel, then do sign up to the podcast Patreon page and the details of that are in the show notes and video description below. If you want to submit a question for Direct and Unfiltered, you can do so by completing the survey or sending an email to beardedmysticpodcast@gmail.com. Please do like and comment on this video and subscribe to this YouTube channel. Do follow or subscribe to this podcast on your favorite podcast streaming app. Thank you very much for listening. Take care. Bye.